Tonight I had an astonishing realization. One of the things I do most (and best, haha) when I start dating someone, is mold and shape my life to fit with theirs and their expectations. Many, many people will tell you that this is a bad idea. I do not disagree. In fact, it’s probably ruined many of my relationships and/or set them (and me) up for disappointment later. Not a good thing. Yet . . .

I staunchly declare that by taking this course, over and over again, I have learned to seen things differently and/or learned to have different preferences and habits. I’ve come to enjoy new things. I’ve improved. And so as I am privileged to associate myself with someone new, it does not amaze me that I fall into the same routine; I get enough out of it, perhaps, that I think it worth the risk. And yet, like I said, the behavior has really not been worth the risk and has likely ruined some relationships. So . . . what to do?

Well, over the last couple of days the thought has been repeated that while people often say, “I can’t figure out how you’re not married,” the opposite is sometimes also the case, “I can’t figure out how you are!” Marriage, especially for someone who is doing all he/she can to walk the covenant path and learn and grow, will come as the Lord sees fit. As I talked to the Lord about this tonight, He let me see that the changing I do is not really the thing, and it will neither help or hinder me when the time is right. But also, He pointed out that the one thing the changing that I do does do is change me. He encouraged me to make the right changes. I REALLY love that. It basically says, “Within any relationship, new or enduring, when it seems like change is necessary, consider those changes first that will help you become more like the Son of God. See if the girl you like motivates any of those changes. And then improve! Maybe you’re doing it for her. But if / when she departs, you’ll have grown in a way you’ll retain.

I really like that. The woman I currently admire most has had such an impact on me. I strive to be a better minister. I read more, and more broadly. I care a little more about going to bed earlier, and I am more focused on finding better employment. I play the piano daily and hope to be able to share my talents soon. And so forth. Whether or not I get a chance to date this amazing individual, I can be grateful that she has helped me choose to be a better man. Thank you!!!